In the movie,”Two Can Play That Game,” there was a scene where Morris Chestnut and Anthony Anderson were celebrating over the fact that Morris had switched the game on Vivica Fox. Fox, known as Shante in the movie, had been in total emotional control for most of the movie, but in this scene, the tables were turned when Chestnut arrived at her house, flipped her emotional triggers and then dropped her heart on the floor!
What happened? In the scene, they called it an “emotional transfer.” How many times has this happened to you? You were feeling great and then your best friend calls sobbing, telling you that their cat died. You immediately feel the heart wrenching pain of your friend and adopt the suffering. On a positive note, what about the times where you walk into a store and decide to smile at everyone you make eye contact with? Although they may seem uptight, once they see you, you change their mood if only temporarily from one of gloom to one of happiness.
Emotional transfers happen all of the time in communication with our loved one’s, strangers, peers, colleagues, associates and friends–basically, everyone you meet. However, what we know about the Law of Attraction is that you’re creating with your thoughts and emotions. Would it be a great idea to stay in an emotion surrounded with gloom around an attack on one of your friends? No, it wouldn’t. Wouldn’t that actually serve to perpetuate the situation, or on a deeper level, add to the collective consciousness of all who are experiencing that same thing, and thus giving energy to it’s existence?
What we think about, we bring about. More specifically, what we think about with emotion, regardless of if the emotion originated with us or not, we attract results of those emotions in our existence.
Well if that’s the case, how do we consciously create when we realize that we’ve been thumped with a negative emotional transfer? The key is to eventually reverse the transfer to one where you’re offering a more positive and uplifting vibration to the person who brought you down. It’s very important not to point a finger, blame, adopt or engage in language that perpetuates the negative feeling in an attempt to show that you’re in agreement with your friend. It’s very easy to do this, but it is also adding energy to negative creation.
There is a thin line to walk to do this successfully, but it often follows these steps:
- Acknowledge the pain in your friend
- If you’re in their physical space, offer them a hug and shoulder to cry if needed.
- Listen to them, but don’t take ownership of their feelings.
- Heighten the emotion of love in your heart while you’re listening.
- Begin to ask questions that engage them to start looking for a better solution but doesn’t seem like you’re acting like a psychologist (they make take offense to this approach if you’re not careful)
- Encourage them to reach for a better feeling.
- When it seems appropriate, offer some suggestions for raising their vibrations.
- Eventually help them to look for the positive in the situation.
- Offer them reaffirming words of encouragement once they begin to show that they are vibrating at a slightly higher frequency.
- Offer more hugs, and repeat steps if needed until the transfer is back on the upside for both parties.
Be a beacon of light as much as you can everywhere you go. Figure out ways to continue to be in a vibration of happiness even when you’re challenged by this. Feeling good now serves you much more than continuing to feel bad. By virtue of the Law of Attraction, what you think and feel about most, you will attract whether you want it or not. So, its best to feel really good as much as you can and to think good thoughts as often as you can, for this will help you to design and create a more joyous and pleasant life for wherever you are.
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